How to Support Partners in Loss
When pregnancy loss happens, the focus often falls on the mother’s physical and emotional recovery. While this support is crucial, partners — dads, non-birthing parents, spouses — are sometimes forgotten.
But partners grieve too. They may express it differently, but their grief is just as real, and they need support as well.
Here’s why partner grief matters — and how to show up for them in meaningful ways.
Partners Grieve Differently
Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. Partners may:
Step into “protector mode,” focusing on logistics and support rather than showing their own emotions.
Return to work quickly, masking their pain.
Struggle privately, believing their role is to be “the strong one.”
Different doesn’t mean less. Their pain still deserves acknowledgment and compassion.
Why Partner Grief Is Overlooked
Society often assumes pregnancy loss is only the birthing parent’s grief. Partners may not have carried the pregnancy, but they carried dreams, hopes, and love for the baby too.
When their grief is minimized or ignored, they can feel isolated — unsure where to share their pain.
What Partners May Need
Partners often need space to process their grief in ways that feel safe and validating. Support might look like:
Encouraging them to share their story too.
Checking in with them (not just the birthing parent).
Giving permission to grieve openly.
Normalizing that they can feel heartbroken, even if they didn’t physically carry the pregnancy.
How Friends and Family Can Support
If you’re supporting a couple after pregnancy loss, make a point to acknowledge the partner:
Say: “How are you doing?” directly to them.
Offer time together — a walk, a coffee, a space to talk (or not talk).
Remember that their grief matters too.
For Providers: Supporting Partner Grief
Medical and mental health providers can play a key role by:
Including partners in conversations.
Offering resources for them specifically.
Naming their grief and validating their role as a parent.
These small actions help ensure no one is left unseen in the grieving process.
Pregnancy loss impacts both parents, even if their grief looks different. Supporting partners means giving their pain a voice, validating their love, and reminding them they’re not alone.
If you’re a partner grieving pregnancy loss, therapy can provide a space just for you. Your grief is valid, and you deserve support.